Election '08 is as serious as a heart attack

Have you noticed there's a lot of squabbling in the right- and left-wing media about who the next President of the United States of America should be? I, like most habitual television viewers, certainly have.

On Sunday morning I watched in horror as a heavy-set gentleman on one of the network news programs got so riled up about this very subject that he became red in the face. It reminded me of old Chris Farley Saturday Night Live gags. I half expected this fellow to start proclaiming that we'd all be “LIVING IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!” if the wrong guy was given the keys to the White House. Unfortunately, those news programs aren't nearly as entertaining as SNL so eventually I did what any of us would do in that situation. I dosed off into a light sleep.

It could have been minutes or it could have been hours later, but I awoke just in time to see that same guy who was yammering on about political this and that fall off the stool he was sitting on. Then, the Katie Couric wannabe who was hosting the program leaped up from her seat to his aid, yelling “We need a medic! Call 911!” Then someone off camera said “cut to commercial” and they turned the camera away just as they started doing CPR on the guy. A heart attack live on TV! How about that!

Did anyone else see this? I hope the poor guy pulled through, but if he's back on the show next week I bet he's learned his lesson and won't get so worked up over something as trivial as an election. Seriously, who cares? Not anybody I know, especially when there's the Super Bowl and the Oscars coming up.